Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
