She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
