you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Life is so much better after having sex.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Randomize
