Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
