I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
