im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
