You can't motorboat a personality
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your cock deserves a montage
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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