So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
