I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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