i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
