Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
