that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
