u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
