we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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