the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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