and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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