doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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