dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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