I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
