you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
You were trust falling into bushes
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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