somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
