i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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