im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
