I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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