I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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