She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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