just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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