Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
