I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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