you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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