There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
