I haven't been this sober since birth.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
