you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
