I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
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