U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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