Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
