WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
then he tried to convert me to islam
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i believe in u and ur pee
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
