Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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