too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
