What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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