drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
