great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
