we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
