I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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