Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
