So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
