she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
