last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
