we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
