Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
