I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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