I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
